Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize