IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
