Do vagina's smell?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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