My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
