so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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