you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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