I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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