just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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