I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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