Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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