i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
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6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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