thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize