If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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