he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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