Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
