For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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