It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
