A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize