It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
