I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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