remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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