i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
