sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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