Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
