My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
