I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
