I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
