You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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