he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
