that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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