I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I see more hoeing in ur future
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