You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
