yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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