Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
