My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
