nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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