If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
