there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
we should paint friendship bongs
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize