I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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