oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
