I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
