I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
