He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
