Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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