Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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