Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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