I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
