She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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