thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
