so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize