Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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