no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
