The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
