We're facebook friends in real life
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
