i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
