Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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